Boris Pistorius is on a winning streak. The Social Democrat has now become the most popular politician in the country. Many even see him as a potential chancellor. Speculation is already circulating in Berlin that the 63-year-old could assume the office before the next federal election to revitalize the SPD in time. Just recently, Pistorius took on a new reign – not from Olaf Scholz, but from the Finance Minister: Pistorius was appointed the new Kale King in Berlin. That the third alpha male of the current coalition was not crowned as the "Kohlmajestät" this year – after Robert Habeck (2019) and Christian Lindner (2023) – but rather his Defense Minister, is certainly noteworthy.

"I'm really excited about the job", emphasized Pistorius after receiving the regalia of his reign: An impressive chain and, as a scepter substitute, an "Oldenburg Palm Tree" – as the kale plant is also called. Some varieties of the winter vegetable can grow up to two meters tall. It's clear that Pistorius is up to the task. After all, he was already the Kale King in his hometown ten years ago. However, anyone familiar with the rivalries between the cities of Osnabrück and Oldenburg – which are just over 100 kilometers apart – knows the potential for conflict inherent in the current election. Nevertheless, the new king is convinced: It's time for things that belong together to come together.

Lindner was already the 64th Oldenburg Kale Majesty. He expressed wistfulness as he addressed the 300 invited guests, who devoured 200 kilos of kale, numerous "Pinkel" sausages, and other hearty meat specialties during the enthronement. He particularly cherished a carriage ride at the Oldenburg Kramermarkt. During the festival, he had generously shared candy with the crowd, jokingly referring to it as "a day of being a Social Democrat". However, Lindner admitted that he had panicked at the thought of running out of candy before the end of the parade – as had happened to the Minister of Economics. "Lindner out of candy – that headline would have been a reason to resign", remarked the leader of the Free Democratic Party. "Whereas people know all too well that Robert Habeck runs out of means."

Ignoring the speculation in Berlin's rumor mill, Pistorius already sees his new position as the pinnacle of his political career. Meanwhile, satirist Dietmar Wischmeyer ("Günther, the tractor driver") pondered what would happen to the new ruler of the Oldenburg Palm Trees if the government coalition were to come to an end: "You can't just stash a guy like that at the Friedrich-Ebert Foundation", joked the comedian. Lindner, on the other hand, warned that being the Kale King is not necessarily a career turbo: A year ago, he was "a politician with a future". Today, his rating is on par with Italian government bonds.